Looking forward

I have been totally staying true to my word and have tried to look forward and I've got some bad news for you – looking forward is hard. Not just a little bit hard either. People talk to you about the past and how things have changed. Nobody wants to know where you want to be in five years unless you're at a job interview. It is human nature to be more interested in where you were five years ago. I get that.

In a movie or a good book it is impossible to relate to or feel anything for a character unless they have a decent back story and that feeling resonates in real life too. And on talent shows. A back story is imperative if you have any hope of making it to the judges houses let alone the live shows.

So I've been doing some research about ways to think about the now rather than dwell on the past. There is a host of good stuff online about this and techniques you can use. Some of it may at first appear somewhat religious but don't let that put you off.

I found this blog on tinybuddha.com and I actually think she talks a lot of sense and any person who can reference a Dr Seuss line is OK by me.

When I've googled how to look forward it is often suggested that you should have ambitions and set yourself goals. I like this idea a lot. I think making little goals and achieving them is something that should be wholeheartedly encouraged. This lead me to thinking about what small goals I could make and I genuinely couldn't come up with any.

Obviously there's the big life goals – buy a house, have a baby, earn more money etc – but sometimes you need something short term that you can have a definite tick next to. I came to the depressing conclusion that maybe I am thinking about doing a “thirty things before your thirty.” So I googled it.

First and fore mostly I'm fairly sure this thirty before thirty fad has been exacerbated by the media. There are a number of films and a whole television series based on the concept. The media also loves to portray any woman reaching her 30^th birthday as having passed a massive milestone. When Kate Middleton married Prince William she was 29 and they were discussing how necessary it was that she was still in her twenties when they started trying for children. Clearly we still live in the 19^th Century.

One list I found was about Beyonce and how she was going to have a baby and retire at 30 and the things you needed to do to get there as a mere mortal. This list made me so angry I nearly punched the screen. It is one of the most contradictory things I have ever read. You can't cite “save the pennies” and “own a designer handbag” as things to do. This list is clearly written for idiots.

There are literally hundreds of these lists online. All of them ranging from the ridiculous to the sublime. Some of the most ludicrous suggestions talk about having plastic surgery, quitting your job, travelling the world or having a threesome. These lists are clearly not for sensible people. I am not a sensible person in the strictest sense of the word but I am also not an idiot.

I have decided to make my own list of things to do before I'm thirty:

1. Blog more
2. Spend more time with the people I love
3. Be happy

There we go. Three things to do before I'm thirty. I might even keep them going until I'm more than thirty. I think that's perfectly acceptable.

Until next time.